Mively blocked drain?

my outside drain is hugely clogged with grease. i have no idea how far down the pipe it is and i've gone down the pipe with a broom handle but i can't feel anything. i went to the shop and bought an industrial-strength drain unclogger. it's 90% sulphuric acid and it hasn't shifted the blockage! so now i have a soup of grease, water and acid in the top of my drain. i CANNOT afford a plumber, i really, really can't. i have �13 in my bank account right now. due to the blockage i can't use my dishwasher or my washing machine, or run any water down my kitchen sink. does anybody have and ideas on what i could do next?